The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.
― David W. Orr, Ecological Literacy: Educating Our Children for a Sustainable World (via wordsnquotes)

I.
the year of cheap beer
the year of numb-this-please
the year of breaking my mother’s heart
the year where everything around us shimmered like a mirage and every time we got too close to each other, you disappeared
the year where I’d fall asleep to you and wake up to myself
the year of not-this-again
the year of always-this-again
the year where everything was too bright, colored like a carnival
all gaudy oranges and loud pinks
and it wasn’t even half as fun as it seemed

II.
the year of independence
the year of everyone I love is halfway across the world
the year of falling asleep crying on Skype
the year of waking up to an empty house
the year of everything echoes in here without you, Mom
the year of I don’t know who I am when you aren’t here
but then-
the year of interdependence
the year of love
the year of finally, my god, finally
the year of this is how it’s supposed to feel
the year of this, this, this
this is how it’s supposed to be
and the house stopped echoing after I met you

III.
the year of heartbreak
the year of I don’t know why you stopped loving me
the year of but you promised
the year of I don’t understand, I don’t fucking understand
the year of self-destruction dressed up to look like self-reliance
the year of reopening old wounds
the year of ripping my skin apart every time it grew back together
the year of this is what my sisters warned me about
the year of you promised you wouldn’t be like him
but you were worse
because a wolf in sheep’s clothing is so much scarier than just a wolf

IV.
the year of explosions
the year of Dad, I’m sorry, I don’t know if I’ll make it to my next birthday
the year of Mom, I’m sorry, none of this is your fault
the year of trying to rip my brain out of my skull
the year of there’s no possible way you can expect me to live through this pain
the year of realizing that there is something worse than pain
and that’s not feeling anything at all
but then-
the year of reincarnation
the year of realizing the brilliance of the phoenix
the year of rise from the fucking ashes, it’s not enough to let them settle in your lungs
the year of love yourself
the year of stop loving him
the year of look what you can do with all your dreams
the year of look what you’ve done with all your dreams
the year of Mom, I promise, I will never leave
the year of Dad, you don’t have to be scared anymore
the year of pour some champagne
cheers, baby
cheers to what is next

― Fortesa Latifi - to my college years (via madgirlf)

winterwools:

Still | Daughter